Don't runaway dear Reader! Imagine you are a weight lifter and you are seeking to get stronger. In order to do so you either need to lift gradually heavier weights, you increase the repetitions or you change the nature of the weight lifting exercise so you are using and developing different muscles. If we are walking with Christ, and really desire to Love God with all we are, God will involve us in all of the above alternatives in order to test and strengthen our faith, and the boundaries of our faith and Trust in Him. And He does this on a daily basis if we are saying 'yes'.
Before I look at the nature of our pain let me tell you about the 'pain' I felt this morning. I had finally got the ebook and the paper-back version of 'Treasures of Darkness' into the publication process last night, with the help of a brother from Church. I then knew I needed to get the email which I had prepared, linked up with the website - which actually needed further preparation. I felt some promptings to stop about 10.30pm...but persevered..and it was after midnight when the website page was complete and I sent the email to those who had asked for it. I had drunk coffee to keep awake, but I lay awake trying to pray myself asleep for at least an hour.
When I woke this morning, I sensed a separation from God. This was my pain...I had made the email and web-page more important than His Love and His Timing. In fact when I went to check this morning - the Web Page was not 'published' so the link on the email was in effect inactive. In owning the pain, confessing my sin, and persevering in prayer....I found peace. He told me to write about 'pain' today.
So this illustrates how one form of pain comes from the state of our relationship with God, His Word and our own obedience to His Spirit acting within us. In fact I would suggest that this is the most significant and the most vital as it means there is still a connection within.
Innocent yet bearing our pain and shame in Love
One way of describing pain, of any kind that we sense in the body, is the result of neural pathways being disturbed, broken and out of alignment with their intended function. This applies to the agonies of a broken arm, or damaged shoulder; it applies to the awful pain of broken relationships or the loss of someone through death. And it applies to the horrible events that take all physical movement from someone. And yet God is with them all in the Mystery of His Love..carrying them through months, even years of coming to terms with what they can do, or can't and finding a renewal of the heart and mind, when they are willing to give up blaming and bitterness.
We also experience what seems like physical pain when somebody betrays our love and trust. I remember not simply the agony of mind I went through when my husband admitted (after denying it and I'd believed him) that he had fallen in love with someone else. Although he asserted it was over, the pain was in the broken trust - not so much the fact that he'd fallen for someone at work. I went downstairs and remember the sensation of exploding fireworks within my body! The worst effect of this was that it separated me from my heart. It was not truly healed for many years. But at an Advent Retreat one year through prayer this agony of heart was revealed, forgiven and the pain was redeemed! So God can reveal and bring restoration even of deep past hurts.
A similar though exterior pain was after getting badly stung by nettles in trying to make a path through to the river. Although the university medical centre gave me balm, I barely slept for three nights as the stings kept firing in my arms and legs. This experience of pain served as a prophetic understanding, that though I went off the beaten path and 'got stung' I would come though it!
Much further down the path of my life in faith, I moved to serve in a parish. I damaged my shoulder cuff muscle as I moved in which resulted in an operation some months later. Before that was fully recovered I fell and broke my L wrist during Holy Week. It was a collis fracture which meant it had to be manipulated straight before it could be set. Before these things happened I was really afraid of physical pain - but strangely, though I went through much pain and degradation, I came to understand that God did not leave me in this pain. I did take pain killers, but I had litttle 'mental pain' associated with these things. I refused to blame any one - nor myself and it was as if, in Christ who hung on the Cross, I suffered this with Him. Truly He was extending the boundaries of my faith.
God knows more than we do what we can take, and how with Him and the Holy Spirit of Truth, we can receive, accept and overcome in Christ all pains. But conscious awareness of childhood trauma, in order to renew the mind and restore the soul, is a life-long process. When I first gave my life back to Christ, I think I knew deep within that in Him I had suffered so long ago, and I didn't want to know about it. As I journeyed on my faith path as an adult/child, His Spirit renewed and enabled many broken parts of my soul, and I learned to trust God's ways. I even came to a prayer, saying I didn't mind what I suffered in this life but could I go home to Him in Love and be taken straight to His Arms when I died. This was a total recognition that pain is purifying and ultimately healing within His Cross and Resurrection because of repentance and forgiveness.
Yet dear Reader, I guess like me, you also know that we have glorious prayers from our holy hearts and desires, but in the answered prayer and the living out of it, it is not always so easy to remember the 'Way'. But dearest ones ...remember the 'repetitions' that develop strength ... A dear priest friend said to me, 'Marina, I have had to learn that 'patience' is not a virtue when its a theory; it becomes alive when we are willing to surrender our desires and timing, and trust and praise God for His.'
So dear Souls who read this..remember that the FRUIT of the Spirit is 'love, kindness, joy, patience, long-suffering.....' (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) and we develop these through the trials of pain, and frustration because our desires are not met in our lives. IF we choose for patience with those who offend us (and asking for forgiveness when we fall) - or a willingness to forgive offences that come up from the past and hurt us again, gradually the fruits of the Spirit become part of us.
All these are opportunities to bring the Truth of Christ into the situation - including the TRUTH of who you are through birth (made in the Image of God)and knowing Christ. Acknowledge all the self-condemnation and the lies that prevent you from owning your True gifts from God and His leading for your life. That is another PAIN - when you are not following the True Self in God. This pain is often called 'depression' which is frequently covering up anger. Face this in prayer - and allow God, through the 'Holy Spirit to lead you into all Truth'. But it does mean you live through Love and the Heart and not in a head-strong 'worldly' way!!
Dear Ones, in Christ we are all ONE, in Love and desire for God's ways. Don't be afraid to desire this, and pray for it, and be willing for all your bitterness, emotional pain and lovelessness to be transformed into the Grace and love of Christ. He gave of His humanity even unto death...for a greater good. Let Him carry you today, even into your depths that you may be set free to Truly Live in faith, hope and love. Amen
PS If you want to know more about God's provision for releasing the deep long-term trauma induced pains, go to the link below to find more about the book, 'Treasures of Darkness: Facing the Pain and Finding the Light':
Right here is the perfect website for anybody who wishes to find out about this topic. You know a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I personally would want toÖHaHa). You certainly put a new spin on a subject that has been written about for decades. Excellent stuff, just excellent!