Dearest reader, although 'Easter' may be past for many believers, the Cross is very present for all of us every day, as we need to face difficulties, losses and clashes of will with others. And if you are an Orthodox Christian, then you are still only mid-way in Lent, so the season of focussing on the Cross of Christ is yet with us.
Through the conscious journey of faith over the past thirty years, I realise the 'shielding' aspect of Christ's cross. Through out the world, we all know over this last year, the meaning of shielding. Those who are particularly vulnerable to infection from Covid 19 have been shielded, protected, not exposed to further risk, either because of age, or underlying health conditions. These people were the first to be offered the vaccination to help protect them from potential death.
So how does this apply to the Cross and us? The Cross is essentially about Love, the Love of God come into the world and becoming Human, in order that through Him, we may become purified and made whole restoring us to our relationship with, and in God the Father. But if in our lives we have experienced in-human treatment, and have wells of hate, self-despising, and distrust of God and man deep in our hearts and locked within our bodies, we are very vulnerable to destructive forces and a desire for power.
'Father forgive them, they know not what they do'.
But God the Father knows our needs and when we come to faith, or back into the church, usually through the action of God in our lives, we are protected by Christ's Cross. He bears our hidden guilt, to carry us step by step into new Life. As we recognise and confess our sins and separation from ourselves and God and others, we are changed and become more truly human.
Gradually as we become strengthened in love and growth in true humanity, with increased awareness of our vulnerability and need for God, our mind is opened up to desire His Word, thoughts, and purposes in all our ways. Step by Step His Spirit leads us to more of His Courage, Patience, Perseverance, and a willingness to let go of 'instant gratification' to live for a Promise of Eternal Life. But it is a slow process of 'deification' and the total trust in the Father that Christ had. The old wounds may be 'dealt with' at a surface level, but only through total trust in the Cross can the purification reach in to those hard-hearted wounds...that cling to self-justification and self-righteousness. 'It wasn't my fault! Its not fair!!'
All of that is true - if we are talking about worldly perspectives. But we are looking at life in Christ and the Freedom He offers to 'those who believe'. Yesterday I was being offered life or death again, at the Liturgy service for The Cross. I was crying out to God to be taken out of my current situation, but I came to realise that the cry (and crying) was of the 9 year old child, left without human hope, love or support after her silencing by the violating action of her father figure. Clearly God alone could help. But how could He get in to my human mind and will which was seeking to blame, self-justify and condemn all new life because she/I was not trusting God the Father? I was allowing lies to defeat God's Truth.
I came to see I had to make a new decision for the Cross, and trust in Christ's power to overcome, as I chose to use His words from the Cross, 'Father forgive them they know not what they do'. And every time an old thought pattern emerged, return to 'Father forgive them, they know not what they do'. Christ did not seek to work out the consequences of His actions, He simply trusted in the Divine Will of God to bring salvation to the world.
So yesterday, I returned to my flat, still alone, but knowing I needed to own the pain of my Heart, but with the Christ crucified. I needed to own, and not deny 'God is with us'. And in Him and with Him ask for forgiveness of my lack of trust, and keep praying, 'Father forgive them they know not what they do'.
This morning in standing again for the truth of Christ's life and love in me, the darkness had to flee and this body became available for the work of God, without bitterness or shame! Now my mind has taken a stand against the darkness, I can sense the joy growing in my heart!
Indeed this is the power of the Cross, to bring Light and Life into dark places, trusting that although I have no power, the Father will make a way and there will be resurrection. Do I know what is going to come? NO, but I believe that God's purposes for my life will emerge, and I will be given grace to choose for them and fulfil them.
Dear Reader, as we were told yesterday at the Zoom meeting on the Cross from Essex Monastery: we may have involuntary crosses that are not our 'fault' but are still powerful means of salvation - particularly if we make them voluntary - as Christ did in going to the Cross.
May we have courage to daily face our inner being - and bring the daily dose of pain, loss, etc out of the darkness, to the Cross and ask to love and trust God more, seeing things through His Truth. And may we ask for courage to stand in the power of the Cross to fulfil the tasks of each day, in Love, trusting in God the Father to provide. In praise, thanksgiving and service is our Salvation. Amen