We need courage to face up to the difficult times we are in whilst retaining hope for improved relationships in every sphere of life. No-one would question Nelson Mandela’s ‘right’ to his anger at injustice as a young black man in South Africa or the current swell of protests at the treatment of black and ethnic minority men in the USA. No-one would question the complaints of women who have been raped, and denied justice in places around the world over the centuries. And now the womb has become one of the most dangerous places for a baby, instead of the safest. All these things are related. As we deny respect and love to others, so the souls of those despised get damaged and they in turn deny respect for life…and babies get aborted from young women who have no real respect for, or knowledge of, themselves, and the elderly are in danger of early termination of life. Everyone demands their own way seeking to take away the pain and isolation from God, self and others, within while inadvertently making it worse.
But we cannot seek justice in anger. We are demanding retribution for the damage done to us, but not true justice in love. Nelson Mandela, through his time in prison and seeking with God, became a bearer of Christ’s Light in the darkness. On his release he was able to bless and work with the ‘enemy’ in South Africa and help fellow victims to greater maturity through faith and trust in a greater good.
As a committed Christian I long ago learned that only in Christ and through His Spirit, would I find peace. It rarely came to me, but I spent much of my first year back in the church, being prayed for and needing to face my own sin, pain and shortcomings. But I was also being taught and built up to know more of the Spiritual life. Thus alongside my growing awareness of the pain and losses of my earlier life, was the awesome truth that He would never leave me. He provided through the wonder of both His Word in the Bible and within my heart, and the healing Presence of His Body and Blood in communion. And after about two years He asked me to let go of thinking about my broken-ness and seeking healing, leaving it in His hands, and to focus on serving as He led me. This I did – and truly He provided beyond anything I could have imagined.
But for many years I was trying to be very careful to not offend God, so rarely took my difficulties to Him because subconsciously I was still afraid of angering God – projecting onto Him, my fear of the anger and heartlessness of some men I had encountered. As a consequence I lived in denial of many problems because it seemed I had no right to perceive them like that, nor to expect God to do anything – I simply had to accept everything done to me.
Like Nelson Mandela in his prison, I understand now why I had to go through this. I was gradually taught obedience to His ways through the practical service I was asked to do: befriending a woman in psychiatric care; looking after a re-housed tramp; serving coffees and lunches at the Church ‘Pop in’; and occasionally work more directly related to my previous work in education….. training members of the committees for an ‘Every-member Visit’ project of the church. Through these tasks I learned I could do nothing without His compassion, grace, patience and love! In other words – I needed His Life. After three years I knew I needed greater access to Communion, and gradually made the transition into the Roman Catholic Church. A dear Baptist friend, who had prayed for me before I was in a church, was horrified at my ‘betrayal’ when I made the move. But on my return from Switzerland where I had been able to receive communion every day for a year, I was given a prompting to go and visit her in her new home. She commented after half an hour, ‘I take back everything I said. You are changed – for the better.’ And the more I was led to serve, the more I knew I could do nothing unless I was connected to the Vine.
Only when I was sufficiently humbled and willing to choose for His ways could the Lord start to open up deep pain and anguish in relation to not simply childhood traumas, but, more recently, also awareness of mis-use of male authority in other areas of life. I started to cry out for Justice – but saw that the Cross was the only answer…’Father forgive them they known what they do’. But He showed me the Lord’s final cry from the Cross..’Father into Your hands I commit my spirit.’ Like Nelson Mandela in prison being purified by God, I had to see that total trust in God the Father – putting the injustices of life into God’s hands, and praying blessings on my enemies, was far more effective than anything which is self-centred, or desiring power.
Thus I had to be purified so I knew beyond doubt that as justiceI am loved by God through Christ, and am an instrument of compassion for the abusers, who were themselves abused, and would be judged. I am still a work in progress, and am praying for God to show me ways of speaking the truth in love, and to strengthen me in my inner-being to do this. But it has to be in His time and Way otherwise the words are clanging cymbals, and hearts aren’t opened for change except through love. ( I do want to say that the processes of law are inevitable if abuse is on-going and institutionalised and becomes public knowledge, because sometimes civil authority has to be used with those who abuse their status. And as in America those in authority may need to be ‘swayed’ by public opinion to do what is needful for justice. ‘All that is in the dark will come to the Light’.)
Lord, have mercy on all those who are oppressed in any way, bless those who oppress with fear of You, and may we all grow in respect for You, and Your image and life in all people, including those in the womb, and at the end of their lives. May true relationships of goodwill, patience and understanding bring both righteousness and justice to all. Amen