In the early years of my life, particularly when I was ‘in the world’, I had many hopes day by day. I hoped the delivery would come, or the meal turn out alright. I hoped I would be prepared for teaching, that the children would do well, be well, and have friends. I tended to relate hope to coping with each day and a desire to be true within. But I lived with deep, but unacknowledged hopelessness, particularly about relationships and ‘belonging’.
I don’t know what I expected when I committed my life back into Christ’s hands 30 years ago, and came back into the church. I certainly knew I was exhausted, had no strength to persevere in the highly stressful work at the Polytechnic working with teachers, and within me I knew that my personal life was without blessing. I was used to simply going on from day to day and dealing with difficulties as they came. But my inner resources seemed to dry up…and I could no longer see a way forward. I don’t find it surprising now to realise that at this point Christian students started telling me about Jesus, and then praying for me and bringing me the prophetic words that they were given for me! God was providing for me before I even knew how to ask!! This period culminated in being given early retirement without asking for it! God had provided so I could continue His work.
I’m telling the above to given an example of God’s provision when we hope in His work without knowing what it will be. I have come to call this ‘Holy Hope’ – when:
though the fig tree will not bear fruit
And there be no grapes on the vines;…..
And the fields yield no food;…..
And there be no oxen in the cribs;
Yet I will glory in the Lord;
I will rejoice in God my Saviour.
(Habbakuk 3:17-18).
Now I can consciously call on Holy Hope to embrace me when I am being tempted to despair and hopelessness when I cannot physically ‘see’ a way forward, and believe I have no control over difficult material, and spiritual circumstances. Frequently I suffer this sort of pain on a Friday, and in that sense share with ‘Christ crucified’ as St Paul related. In Christ my heart is lifted to God’s promises and to trust, then my spirit is lifted to the Words of the Cross and I have courage to persevere, knowing All things will be well.
Like most things in the Christian life, hope is neither a static concept, nor unrelated to faith in the Love of God and His desire to provide salvation for the humble. In fact as I have grown in faith, overcoming many trials through Christ, I have come to recognise that Christ is our hope. He who was Incarnate, yet God, inhabits our hearts and feeds our minds as far as we allow Him. The more we are open to the Holy Spirit, His Word and to Christ’s life and purposes the more we know ‘the height and depth, the length and breadth of His love’ (Ephesians 3:18); and the more we know that nothing separates us from the love of God. Thus in Christ there is no end to Holy Hope. Even death He died, trusting in the Father. And this perfect Love casts out all fear, because we have hope of Resurrection and Eternal Life.
It is not the end of the world if x, y, or z doesn’t happen today – maybe my pride is challenged – good – or my patience has to grow, or God’s plans need to overtake my plans…. all the better. So Hope centred on Christ, in Christ and for Christ, totally changes any worldly understanding of our ego-centric thoughts about hope. Daily I need to surrender further to Christ’s dependence on the Father, and obedience to the Spirit. In obedience I started writing – and Hope – who is the Word, provided.