We’re surrounded with words these days – spoken, shouted, sung, written… on television or radio, books, newspapers, advertisements, billboards. But what do they communicate? We know, or can guess the intention of the source of the words, but what is received depends on the ‘hearer’, or ‘see-er’ of the words. We are people with souls, not just empty vessels to be filled with often irrelevant information. But if we are in danger of over-load in our minds from worldly messages, in the end we need to select, or turn off completely, from the words we receive. Thus if we are not open to the words they fall on deaf ears. Yet we do need to both hear and to talk and understand so we can make choices, if we are to grow in love.. And maybe above all we need to hear what we have to say, so we can eradicate evil, and grow through it to life and communication beyond words.
We all know people who only want to ‘talk’ to you so they can talk and be listened to, and never seem aware of the needs or interests of the other. I’m sure I have been, maybe still am occasionally, guilty of this ‘self-maintaining’ talk. But it is so refreshing to be with someone who is happy to be in silence, or wants to share the listening and the talking, and the evaluating. That mutual respect and trust, is both healing of old wounds, and building of inner strength and silence in the Unseen Real. It is interesting that within the ‘culture’ created to help us survive Covid 19, has been an overt encouragement to people to get out into gardens or parks, to help their mental health and well-being. Even Springwatch on BBC television, included about 2 minutes of camera work devoid of commentary each programme. We were/are invited into the wordless communication of wild-life, beauty and harmony in creation. We are people given free-will. We need to use our free-will wisely, and be willing to keep growing in love.
On the whole I choose to listen rather than speak these days, as I try to put aside my own agenda and be open to the other. But its only in real compassion for the other that fruitful communication reaches beyond words, and then the ‘Unseen Real’ does the work!! I remember one occasion in Switzerland when I had been invited for coffee by one of the members of the parish in which I was living. She spoke no English, and my French was very limited. She was a widow and her children lived elsewhere. She needed friendship and ears to hear. By the grace of God, all I could do was pray in compassion as I listened to her painful story, because I didn’t understand enough to make any ‘worthy’ contribution!! At the end of the morning when it was time to leave, she was full of thanks for my help!!! That was when I began to understand that God’s Love, and my humility and gentleness are far more important than knowledge.
I often fail in my desire to put my own history aside in order to hear others, and to communicate God’s unconditional love to those who phone me. Sometimes I accept Christ’s humility on the Cross and simply forgive, and keep silent at their brokenness, unwillingness to grow, and indifference to my feelings, as I recognise ‘Christ crucified’ in them. Other times I want to break open the grave they are buried in, and gently suggest that they could choose to break away from their prison of the past. And then, at least with some, immediate communication stops because they cannot/will not hear. And so the silent communication of prayer and love is the only choice to reach the loveless heart that is lost in despair, and self-neglect. But I am finding that with the prayer, a loving, written communication can be a bridge to the hurting heart. The mind gets a chance to absorb the message about Christ’s on-going invitation to new life, beyond the prison bars set by childhood, or marriage abuse, and denial of God. The more open we are to the ‘fullness of God’, the more able we are to bear with others, and to hear and choose what is life-giving and good. And eventually we become vessels of that love and grace and truth.
So I pray for myself too. Lord have mercy on us. May true communication, even when there are words, bring love, life and hope to us all in the intimacy of understanding and the beauty of compassion.