Dearest Reader,
Hello. How are you today? I would love to talk to you personally and get to know you more.
But imagine I started out by being angry with you - telling you angrily how you have behaved, or what you think, or what you have said which has made me angry. You in turn may respond angrily and turn off the post, you may 'argue' with me - mentally telling me I don't know you and this isn't just. And there is a higher way too that you might have responded; if there is a grain of truth in anything I have said, you may be willing to reflect and see if there was something to learn.
But dear soul, not many of us are all the time in that totally confident and humble state that we can accept unloving angry comments and still be willing to look objectively at it and see where truth might lie. But I believe, and have increasingly tried to live this, that if we lovingly share with someone how they have distressed us, we are embodying 'Be Angry and do not sin'. But how do we do that 'lovingly' taking the other person into account and not just allowing our anger to rule the interaction?
Sin as a concept is not popular in todays culture - we don't want to see ourselves as 'not perfect' because of our pride! But if we see 'sin' as separation from our True selves, God and others, it takes on a meaning that enables us to keep integrity - being true to what we want/choose to be - rather than some external 'law'. Even Jesus told us 'heaven is in your heart'. So any man-made doctrine about 'sin' fails to help us LIVE to become more complete in ourselves. "In ancient Greek thought, sin was looked upon as, in essence, a failure on the part of a person to achieve his true self-expression and to preserve his due relation to the rest of the universe; it was attributed mainly to ignorance." (Encyclopaedia Britannica).
So lets re-consider this wisdom of 'Be angry and do not sin' which re-came to me two days ago. I was enabled, in prayer, to bring to the Light a childhood experience when, as a powerless child, I suffered abuse leading to a near death. I have dealt with the memories and the roots of shame etc that stemmed from this over the last 30 years when I was brought back to an active faith. But here I was - with anguish and renewed powerlessness in my soul - and I was given recognition of my ANGER towards the abuser...(spilling out to include all those men who deny women a voice) - but because I had no power as a child, and no-one acted on my behalf - I had turned it on myself. So my anger at being a woman and powerless etc - had kept me powerless!!
And these words came to me 'Be angry and do not sin'. So I'm sharing this process with you dear Reader as I choose to own this anger with unjust behaviour of men who TAKE authority and silence the powerless because they think they have Right on their side..
Over the last 10 years particularly I have had opportunity to keep learning about boundaries- what is YOURS? and what is MINE?..... How do I choose to behave in response to behaviour of THE OTHER? And needless to say I was most disempowered by 'angry' behaviour of the other. In conscious awareness I realised I took their anger as 'my problem' needing me to change -ie I had made them angry. Very slowly I began to recognise that my silence and withdrawal from being 'in the way', 'irritating', or 'too demanding', was not truly loving....though my prayer was. I tried to finish each day with my heart in Peace - always being open hearted to face the next day. Slowly my inner awareness was changing and I was being strengthened in Truth of who I stood for. And I was led to withdraw from this situation seeking more of God's help for my life.
And NOW I need to persevere with LIVING with the anger that I had falsely turned on myself; to turn it into wisdom and love, connection with mySelf and the Highest Wisdom of the other. So dear Reader, I encourage you to make friends with your anger, but not allowing it to act without your Wisdom and Choice in place. I remember once when living in a block of flats for the over 60s. My neighbour had offered to help me make a 'garden' out of grass on the edge of the communal area. He described what he intended and I explained I wanted the two levels for different plants so please don't make it flat. Then I left for an appointment.
The following morning when I looked out at the garden - I saw it was totally flat. I was SOO angry - if I'd seen him I would have not been able to contain it!! I knew this was not wisdom - so I prayed and asked for help - I could not do it on my own. The question came to me, 'Do you want to destroy the good relationships that are being built up in the flats?' Of course - the answer was 'No!' So my Higher Wisdom then pointed out how hard this man had worked - and maybe I could forbear with his actions? As I mentally agreed and recognised his perspective, all the ANGER disappeared. And when I saw the man later in the day - I said 'I was glad I hadn't seen you earlier cos I was so cross when I saw the garden flat without the two levels' - but immediately said 'But I realise how hard you worked to do it. Thank you.' I guess that is 'Be angry and do not sin'.
But we all know there are still many areas in institutions where men have been given authority, or have taken it through oppression and violence, and there is injustice. This has resulted in many having to bury their anger or turn it on themselves (men and women) and become powerless. We NEED to seek to own our anger, and the ways to make it fruitful.... never separated from love for the other - but each of us making choices for our Highest Wisdom in unity and right-honouring of the other. Without that we just have evil - and we continue to live with our 'isms' and hatred, instead of LOVE, Justice, harmony and right-action without 'sin'. Our institutions need to become a power-house of Love and real Service, not a breeding ground for greed and self-interest which robs the ordinary men and women of hope and right models..
I pray for all of us to 'Be angry and Do Not Sin'.